Rediscovering Your Self

My entire identity was formed around trauma. I didn’t know who I was without it.

Healing from trauma isn't just about addressing the pain.

It's about rediscovering who you are beneath the weight of your experiences.

What do you enjoy in your free time?

What foods do you like?

What is your favourite colour?

Letting go of an identity shaped by trauma can be one of the most challenging yet invisible barriers to healing.

Unresolved trauma can make it feel safer to remain in familiar pain than to face the unknown of who we might become without it.

Shame, helplessness, and fear don't just linger; they shape how you see yourself, interact with others, and define what you believe you deserve.

These emotions can convince you they're not just reactions to trauma but reflections of who you truly are.

As I began my healing journey, I realised I had a lot to learn about myself, starting from scratch.

What if healing isn't about fixing or becoming someone new?

What if it's about rediscovering who you already are — beneath the noise, beyond the identity shaped by trauma?

Gather Awareness

Rediscovering your Self begins by identifying the distorted beliefs you hold about yourself.

These are often hiding behind irritability, anxiety, obsessions, emotional numbing, detachment, shame, and guilt.

Look “behind the curtain” to find the messages these emotional and physical signals convey.

Not Who You Are

Recognise that these beliefs are not who you are.

These beliefs come from a place of trauma — distorted, toxic messages about yourself.

Highlight everything that makes you feel bad about yourself or unworthy.

Pick apart what has become entwined with your identity.

Next to each toxic statement, write the opposite:

“I am oversensitive”

I am aware and honour my emotions because they are valid. There is nothing wrong with feeling deeply!

“I am aggressive”

I am passionate but sometimes struggle to channel it correctly. I am learning and improving every day!

“I always do that”

I did it in the past but am now learning what to do and what not to do. My past does not define my future!

“I am useless”

I have unique strengths and talents. I am valuable just as I am.

“No one will love me with my emotional highs and lows”

The right person will love me for who I am and what I offer the world.

“I can’t get anything right”

I embrace mistakes as learning opportunities and choose not to live by anyone else’s standards!

Remember, you are rediscovering the amazing person you've always been.

Letting go of the identity formed by your struggles might be one of the most liberating steps in your healing journey.

Shame, helplessness, and fear can seem like permanent fixtures, but they don't define you.

Healing is about peeling back those layers to rediscover the person beneath the trauma.

It’s a courageous act of self-love, recognising these emotions as remnants of what you’ve endured, not who you are.

To all survivors reading this:

You are not defined by your trauma.