An Exercise to Boost Self-Awareness
Have you experienced overwhelming emotions, racing thoughts, and exaggerated reactions?
We’ve all experienced moments where we spiralled out of control.
It feels like we’re caught in a storm.
When these reactions become too intense, it can feel hard to regain control and make sense of it.
That’s where self-reflection becomes important.
By stepping back and taking a moment to reflect, you can begin to recognise patterns in your responses.
It’s not about fixing or judging yourself, but observing yourself with compassionate curiosity.
Self-Reflection Creates Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is powerful. It helps you start to understand why you reacted the way you did.
Over time, it helps create space between the initial trigger and your response.
That space gives you the opportunity to:
Choose a different response;
Take a deep breath before reacting;
Acknowledge it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.
With ongoing practice, you’ll likely begin to notice that you have more clarity and control.
The storms still come, but with reflection, you’re better equipped to weather them.
Slowly, you start to become more resilient, and each experience becomes a step forward in your healing journey.
Try this!
This exercise is designed to help you reflect on a situation where you felt triggered, overwhelmed, or out of control.
The situation might have only happened once or it might be a recurring one.
Reflecting on difficult situations is not easy, and it can feel uncomfortable or even painful.
It’s completely okay to take your time with this.
The goal here is to gently observe, without judgment, what happened and how you responded.
This process is about gaining awareness and understanding, not about criticising yourself.
Before you begin!
DO NOT use traumatic experiences for this exercise.
It can be re-traumatising and make things worse. Focus on a situation that you can safely reflect on.
Prioritise self-care.
This exercise might bring up strong emotions. If you feel overwhelmed or unsafe, stop the exercise.
This exercise isn’t for everyone.
There’s no pressure to do it if you don’t feel ready. Find what works for you.
Keep a record of your reflections.
Keeping records allows you to look back and see your progress.
Feel free to move between different sections.
There’s no specific order you need to follow. If one part of the exercise brings up more questions or insights, feel free to revisit that section.
1 - Situation
Think about a specific situation where you felt triggered, overwhelmed, or out of control.
What is or was the situation?
Write your experience in as much detail as you can.
There’s no rush to uncover everything at once — allow yourself to process this in layers.
2 - Emotions
Emotions are often the fuel that drives both our thoughts and actions.
What emotions do you remember feeling?
Try to go beyond “good” or “bad” labels - all emotions are valid. You can use the Wheel of Emotions to help you.
How did your emotions impact your responses?
Did feelings of fear stop you from speaking up? Did anger lead you to act impulsively or defensively?
Recognising these connections can help empower you to take more conscious action next time.
3 - Physical Changes
Observe your body’s responses to the situation.
How did your body feel in the situation?
Did your heart rate increase or your breath become shallow? Did you notice any muscle tightness?
Understanding these responses can help you notice how your body communicates your emotional state.
Over time, recognising these physical signals can allow you to create strategies for calming your body in stressful situations.
4 - Thoughts
Notice your thoughts and your mental dialogue.
What do you remember thinking?
The thoughts that come up can be self-critical, or they might reflect a lack of self-worth.
For example, “I can’t handle this,” “I’m not strong enough,” or “I don’t have control”?
Observe these thoughts without judgment.
These automatic negative thoughts are common in stressful situations and often reflect deeper fears or limiting beliefs.
By identifying and unpacking your thoughts, you can uncover patterns that influence how you react and respond.
5 - Action/Inaction
Reflect on how you did and didn’t respond.
How did you react to the situation?
Did you take any action? If so, what did you do? Or did you freeze, avoid, or shut down?
What influenced your decision to act or remain inactive?
Was it your emotions, your thoughts, or perhaps the belief that nothing would change regardless of your actions?
This understanding can help you explore what holds you back.
6 - Results
Reflect on the consequences and implications. Consider both the immediate and longer-term effects.
What were the consequences of the situation?
Notice any ripple effects and implications of this situation.
Reflecting on outcomes helps you assess whether your response was aligned with your values or what you wanted for yourself.
Reflection for Change
After reflecting on the situation, ask yourself:
How can I respond differently in the future?
What small, compassionate steps can I take to shift my reaction?
Healing takes time, and this exercise is one small step toward greater self-awareness and control.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.
Remember:
Every step you take toward understanding yourself is a win.
Small shifts over time can make a big difference.
You’re doing the work, and that’s what matters.
Be patient with yourself and take it one step at a time.
You’ve got this!
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